Do you want to be a better student, a better athlete, a better employee (or manager), a better romantic partner and/or a better investor? If this is a genuine goal and not just wishful thinking, you need to do something most people simply will not do: Learn to embrace, cherish and even seek out constructive criticism. Psychologists tell us that human beings are programmed to accumulate pride and shun regret. That's a fancy way of saying we have a strong tendency to credit ourselves for the things that go right in our lives and to blame others - or circumstances - for what goes wrong. The problem is that shuts us off from growth, both personal and professional. I'm not talking about hostile, nonspecific criticism. Remarks like "You're terrible" or "He'll never amount to anything" aren't offered in the spirit of improvement. But specific, knowledgeable criticism, designed to make you - or your team - better and stronger is unalloyed gold. It can save your health, your career, even your marriage. But only if you're willing to accept it and hold yourself accountable. Yes, criticism is not always easy to take - or tactfully delivered. My wife, Karen, walked up at the end of a tennis lesson one day, just in time to hear the teaching pro tell me these words: Look, you'll never be a great player. But if you want to get better, you need to develop a stronger one-handed backhand by keeping your head down and pointing your left arm straight behind you. I nodded and thanked him. But my wife was indignant. "How dare he say that? You'll never be a great player? What an insult!" I told her - quite honestly - that it didn't bother me. I'm a middle-aged, 4.0 tennis player with a decent forehand and serve, but a spotty backhand and an inconsistent net game. The guy teaching me was a top coach for the University of Virginia's men's team, regularly ranked among the top teams in the nation. | 
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